I remember in a previous relationship, my ex-boyfriend and I went to strip clubs often. I have many more stories but the point is, with each relationship I’ve always loved that there was something we could enjoy together as a couple. I was a “down” chick or so I thought. More importantly, my man’s “down” chick and we could do anything together. While it didn’t seem to affect me externally because there were no visible problems, my inner spirit man was being poisoned with things such as lust which impacted me in the long run. I failed to realize that my connection to them and our ability to easily sin together would affect our purpose, individually and collectively.
In past relationships, not being held accountable from a spiritual standpoint was my norm. Yes, I’ve dated men who challenged me mentally, physically, financially and professionally but not spiritually. I’ve never been equally yoked with anyone, ever. Honestly, I spoke often about it but didn’t truly comprehend the importance of being equally yoked until almost a year ago when my Pastor preached about how who you’re connected to affects where you’re going in life. It was my AHA moment.
I imagine it would be dope having a partner to have fun and conquer the world with, moving together as a power couple. However, it’s impossible to be a power couple without God and His plan involved. Now, I ponder on the deep regret I would feel if I lived a life with my spouse and died knowing that we loved each other but never fulfilled our God driven purpose together. There are areas in my life that I need to develop, adjust or completely change and personally, I can’t afford to be with someone who promotes unhealthy behaviors that are detrimental to our destiny. I want better and it’s important that my future husband does as well in all areas of our lives. I told God that I no longer desire to be with a man I can sin with but a man who helps me grow as a woman of God. My helpmate.
Day by day, God is constantly renewing my mind, my thoughts and breaking old dating habits. My definition of a “healthy” relationship was tainted, yet He’s helping me understand the real definition of being equally yoked. How can one ever evolve into the person God has called you to be when you’re connected to someone who encourages your sin? That could also lead to making a lifetime commitment with someone who will help you sin instead of challenge you not to sin. Although it’s not impossible, as there are testimonies within marriages where God entirely changed the husband or wife.
There’s a special ministry God has for you and your future spouse and higher heights He wants both of you to reach, as a team. Make up in your mind and heart that you no longer want your flesh to dictate your purpose with the mate God has designed for you to spend eternity with. Establish standards on behavior that will set the stage for healthy dating and be intentional about connecting with individuals who are living by similar standards. Know the difference between a helpmate and a hellmate.
Are you purposing in your heart to be with someone who helps or hinders you? Your decision will inevitably change the direction and destination of your life.