Don’t Put a Ring on It…Yet

As originally published on blackandmarriedwithkids.com

Oftentimes the world portrays being single as a lonely, depressing and unpleasant experience. You scroll through Instagram and Facebook and see sarcastic memes about everyone getting married and starting their family while you’re doing something simpler like working on a six-pack. The truth is, there’s so much beauty in being single and this phase in your life shouldn’t be rushed or overlooked. Being single is something to be proud of, especially when you’re not settling. Most importantly, how you spend your time single can greatly affect your future relationship(s) in a good or bad way.

Check out five invaluable lessons I’ve learned while being single:

1. Invest in Yourself-After marriage and children you will rarely have a moment to yourself. Being single could be a once in a lifetime experience. Invest selfishly in yourself. Consider masturdating(dating yourself), there are great experiences and new people to meet when you do solo activities. Travel the world, try new restaurants, visit exhibits, start a new business venture and enjoy waking up alone. Do what you want, when you want, and to the beat of your own drum.
2. Get Fit– Not only is this a good time to get physically fit but it’s also time to dedicate to your spiritual and emotional health. The goal isn’t to enter a relationship in a perfect state, nonetheless, the more you put in yourself the more you have to offer to someone else. Of course, you should work to live a fit life at all times, single or married but what better time than now to focus on yourself. Read, pick up a new hobby, exercise regularly, pray more and find a church to join or dedicate more of your time and talents to your church home.
3. See Things Clearly– Once you get comfortable in your singleness, you lose the urge to jump into a relationship just because. It’s easy to make rash decisions when you aren’t secure in being by yourself. Once you feel secure, you begin to build up patience and confidence. Eventually, you value quality over quantity and focus less on meeting relationship deadlines.
4. Let Nature Rock– Think about your life and when certain things fell into place. It may not have happened when you preferred, yet it happened when the timing was right. Don’t second guess the process. You and/or that special someone are preparing for each other now and when it happens, it’ll be well worth the wait.
5. Be Purposeful– Yes, to some it may sound exciting to accept every number thrown your way and it’s a great stroke to your ego. It may even sound nice to go on a lot of dates. Although you may never find yourself bored courting everyone who offers to take you out, you may indeed waste valuable time because you weren’t really interested from the start. Date someone because they’ve displayed positive signs of a man/woman you can see yourself with in the future. Be open to love yet make purposeful decisions.

Start looking at your journey as a single man or woman from different lens. Being in a relationship or married is a beautiful thing. However, it’s time to appreciate your current phase being single. There’s much insight to gain and knowledge to obtain on your solo journey. Don’t look back and think about what you could’ve, should’ve or would’ve done differently because the power lies within your hands to live accordingly at this very moment. So when you do put a ring on it, you can confidently say that you took full advantage of singlehood.