“He’ll Change, because I’m a Good Woman.”

Those words & thoughts are dead to me.

Growing up, I thought my kind & authentic ways would inspire change among guys I dated. A friend used to refer to me as Mother Theresa, said I loved to save em. Sad but true. I did. 

Except. I never saved em because they ain’t wanna be saved.They were ok with who they were, it was me who saw potential & wanted better for them.

Whether it’s a man or woman, what you see is exactly what you get. Quit dreaming about who they could be & decide if you can stick with them if they never changed, ever. This thinking is dangerous & at the end, kills a whole lot of dreams & feelings.

Now, the most effective way for me to look at a potential partner isn’t to figure out ways to change him but to understand by his actions if he has a desire to always GROW. That’s it right there.

Check your motives when dating. Be real about what you can & can’t deal with & don’t come into the relationship trying to spruce somebody up. Yes, we can influence change among those we love but it happens best when it’s organic & unintentional.