With social media it has become easy to “like” someone. You see a few Facebook statuses, some nice pictures and he “likes” a few of your pictures and suddenly you’ve developed a crush. Maybe it’s not via social media and instead you’ve exchanged numbers, went out on a few dates and now you “like” him. For some, it’s natural to get excited and caught up in how he looks, dresses, what he says, how he says it and how he makes you feel. Those qualities alone can make you think someone is a good catch and therefore deserving of your time. Chemistry is real, but all chemistry isn’t good chemistry. The point is, it doesn’t take much effort to invest your feelings into someone. In the same vein, getting over a person isn’t easy, so getting to know someone before you “like” them should be a process that isn’t overlooked. Protect your most prized possession, your heart. Be intentional with dating decisions to avoid unnecessary heartache. Here are some pointers that can help:
- Become Friends First– A vital step in any relationship is developing a friendship first. When you like a guy, it’s easy for him to put forth his best effort and minimize the qualities that are not so pleasant. However, that’s the beauty in friendship, you see this person in their vulnerable, good, bad and ugly times. Building a transparent friendship is the foundation to love and an organic way to help determine if this person is right for you. Lastly, it gives you the opportunity to know this person without making any romantic attachments prematurely.
- Take Your Time– If you plan on being with this person long term, no matter how old you are or what stage of life you’re in, take your time. Oftentimes, we give ourselves deadlines of when we should be married and with children so we rush the dating process to meet our deadline. That’s unhealthy because it leads to settling with the wrong person for the wrong reasons, which equals temporary satisfaction in exchange for long term hurt and pain. When getting to know someone, take your time, you have a lifetime to spend together.
- Stick with Facts, Not Feelings– When you begin to like a person, it’s easy to get wrapped up in your emotions that you may ignore possible red flags. You don’t want to miss out on learning about their personality traits which are clear indicators of their character. For example, check to see if his words align with his actions and how he treats everyone around him. Does he speak badly of his ex and he is accountable about his previous mistakes? As it relates to people’s patterns, remember how he treated someone else is exactly how he will treat you. Feelings can be misleading but facts don’t lie.
- Let Him Pursue You– Let the man who wants you, find you. Pay close attention to his actions. For instance, does he proactively text, call, plan dates and look for opportunities to get to know you? Are you a top priority to him? When a man is interested in you, how he feels shouldn’t be a mystery. His intentions should be clear and you should have confidence in where you stand in his life. If you believe it’s a good idea to date him, let him lead the way. Also, use wisdom and know that even if someone persistently pursues you it doesn’t mean you two are meant to be. He can be a great guy just not your great guy.
Your heart and experiences impact your very being. Your time, energy, space and who you decide to share it with matters. Healthy relationships require patience and shouldn’t be rushed. Think about the items in your life that you protect and guard. Did your heart come up as one of them? It should, as its value is priceless and everyone doesn’t deserve a seat at your table.